Top five resume building jobs:
5. Slabbing pumpernickel at the local bagel shop.
4. Serving PBRs and Jaeger-bombs to recent Middlebury grads at a pizza place.
3. Working for Primedia then attempting to launch your own trade magazine.
2. An over-extended life on the dole of the US Olympic team.
1. Playing the drums, man.
Top five skills:
5. Fluency in communicating with undercaffeinated indviduals.
4. Knowing the correct strategy to win a wasabi eating contest.
3. Tipping your table’s way out of a harassment lawsuit.
2. Pretending to take a call on your dead cell phone.
1. Recovering on company time.
Top five responses to “Last Call!”
5. Four Patrons.
4. Three double Wild Turkeys.
3. Two Stoli Red Bulls.
2. A round of Grey Goose for my friends!
1. Uh, yes … please keep this on the Stanwood tab.