7.31.2008

Outdoor Retailer: The Quiz

What is the best way to end up in the OR Show Daily?

a) Send topic-specific pitches to the the Daily staff prior to June 30.
b) Unveil a truly newsworthy initiative during the OR show.
c) Cross dress.

What is the best way to keep the wife happy after four days of carousing with old friends and an older liver?

a) The Ahnu Kick.
b) The Ahnu Ginny.
c) The Ahnu Josie.
d) Give her the gift that keeps on giving … Stay in SLC for another four days.

What is the best way to feel good about your manhood.

a) By entering the 70s dance off at Saturday's OIWC Polly-Esther party.
b) By NOT entering the 70s dance off at the OIWC Polly-Esther party.
c) By running in the SkirtChaser Trail Run
d) By NOT running in the SkirtChaser Trail Run

What is the best reason not to stay at the Marriott?

a) It blows your excuse for showing up late to the Conservation Alliance breakfast.
b) The curfew breaking Horny Toad party Saturday night at Café Molise.
c) The Monaco & Hilton are closer to the Hookah Lounge.

What is the perfect cup of campsite coffee?

a) All of them.
b) One brewed at 4:20.
c) One brewed by Primus’ new LiTech Coffee/Tea Press … (booth 30007).

When is the appropriate time to celebrate 420?

a) At the Dude Scout reunion
b) At the World’s Worst PR Event Thursday night.
c) At the Aquapac booth (BR 640), where there's a special celebration of 420 everyday at 4:20 pm.

What is ADAPT?

a) What you’ll need to do on Friday morning after attending the World’s Worst PR Event on Thursday.
b) What you’ll need to do after telling the guys at Life is Good that you’re a “crappy badminton player" while registering for the Industry Party tourney.
c) The acronym for Kelty’s sustainability initiative (booth 27017)

Why is a gusseted crotch important?

a) For selling khakis to guys who wear climbing shoes and Buck Knives to the office.
b) It’s not … it’s just an excuse to say ‘crotch’ more often
c) If you had big balls, you’d know.

Who is Bill McKibben?

a) Middlebury professor, Vermont localvore, quasi secessionist, and speaker at Saturday’s Conservation Alliance breakfast.
b) The lead singer for Rusted Root, the hipster band playing Friday’s Outdoor Industry Party.
c) The love child of Billy Bob Thornton and John Malkovich.

What is the cure for East Coast insomnia?

a) Grabbing a free demo of a GoMotion specialized running light for a 4 am run (Booth 32560)
b) Catching a midday nap in a Kelty campsite recliner while the smooth sounds of the Kelty sales team lulls you to sleep. (Booth 27017)
c) Watching a media line presentation at FILL IN THE BLANK ________________.

What is the best use for the Shilo?

a) Hitting the lobby bathroom before hoofing it back to Little America.
b) Getting torched on the parking lot deck during Saturday evening’s Mammut bouldering championships.
c) Using it as threat, as in: “looks like you’ll be staying at the Shilo next year.”

What is sustainable underwear?

a) 1% for Men’s Panties.
b) The Thongservation Alliance
c) The four P’s … people, places, profit and poo.
d) I have no idea … ask Alli.

What is the best chance to get a free tequila shot?

a) Anytime you see Chris Denny (just say "knob holes")
b) Anytime you see Mike Geraci (coupon good for two).
b) At Aquapac’s 25th anniversary toast … featuring Silver Patron, the Silver Bullet, and Matt Crawford’s silver Visa card. Ongoing, nightly, by appointment.

2 comments:

  1. The correct answer is D, unless it's A, B, or C.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "What is the best way to keep the wife happy after four days of carousing with old friends and an older liver?"

    Although the drunken phone call during 'Send Me on My Way' may set me back a few point, I think a SkirtSports product could get me at least back to "bad dog!" status...

    ReplyDelete