A lot of people find themselves compelled to ask me the same thing. "Drew .... how do YOU find time for Parcheesi?"
Simply put, I'd be nothing if it weren't for my lucky astrology Client Mood Ring.
Employing the same arcane, chicken-sacrificing dark arts that led to the development of Crocs and Tom Brady, the Client Mood Ring changes color based on emotional mood of internal company contacts located hundreds or even thousands of miles away.
Want to get the most out of your 60 minute weekly status call? Just check the ring.
Looking for a green light on that NYC showroom event? Do a pump fake toward the K-cup machine ... then check the ring.
Thinking about a 6% increase in your rates for the coming fiscal year? Absolutely, positively check the ring before you make that call.
Reflecting a mood in a simple basic color, the Client Mood Ring reads a client's biorhythms, synapse activity, pulse rates, testosterone level, estrogen cycle, blood alcohol-and/or-caffeine content, breakfast selection, and proximity to their own boss. It incorporates external events as well, like how well that new trade show booth is coming along, the status of the workbook redesign, and the recentness of budget cut discussions targeting the marketing department.
One simple color = a world of information.
The client is happy. All's good. Things look great. We can tackle that later. This 60 minute status call should take only ten minutes. Which means that they are about to head on vacation.
The client is calm, subdued and satisfied. Sure, let's look at that fam trip idea for Fiji. Which means that their boss has just left for vacation.
The client is indifferent, underworked, and bored. This never happens.
Yellow / Amber
The client is excited, in a good way. They like your ideas. They want to hear more of what you're saying. They like the budget recommendation you sent over, and have given it full approval. If you could bottle this energy and sell it, you'd be almost as successful as Scratch-and-Win RedBull Jell-o Shots.
The client is nervous, anxious and getting ramped up, in a bad way. They didn't like your Christmas box of bacon. They found seven dangling participles in your last press release draft. They would like to see a decade-to-date summary of all agency activity with corresponding ROI so that they can put a value on every minute they've spent listening to you. And they would like it by tomorrow.
The client is shopping around for another agency and will soon return your final invoice. When they say the decision "came from above", what they meant to say is that it came from their brain before it got to their mouth. They would still like to connect on LinkedIn, though. And would it be possible to get some new waders before things wrap up?