A beautiful turn, wasted

PORTLAND, OREGON - Apparently, the natives are restless.

Reports from the green tea ice cream capital of the world indicate that a theater full of telemark fans turned sour and unruly during last Thursday's screening of "The Lost Season," the fourth film from Unparalleled productions.

According to one attendee, the abundance of rail-sliding telemark footage (and lack of "standard powder porn") drew an increasing stream of hisses and boos from the crowd. "It had to be embrasssing for the sponsors," he said. "But it could have been the alcohol."

Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed. During a emergency safety meeting, the decision was made to retreat to a neutral corner and watch a proven favorite ... "Sinners," the glorious ski flick from the mind of Bill Heath. Solid decision.


First Boulder ... then Ventura?

Congratulations to Kenny Ballard, the newly appointed president of Kelty, Inc. Way to go KB!!!

While the internal promotion quickly and solidy answers just about every question people might have had, the only question that it doesn't answer is this ... will the phone ring in six years with a job offer from Patagonia? Now that both Kelty presidents of the last decade -- Michael Crooke and Casey Sheahan -- hold their own keys to the Patagonia executive bike rack, it seems that the Boulder-Ventura pipeline is open and flowing.

Kudos to ThePiton.com for being the first to break the news.

Three leaders, three nymphs, one elusive grayling

Originally uploaded by drewbo.
Even the nation's oldest business magazine knows when it's time to inject a little flyfishing love ... Jessica Maxwell heads across the pond in the Dec. 27 edition of Forbes magazine to chase the elusive Welsh gralying.

LINK: One cool fish.


Santa Cited for Marijuana Possession

"(The wife) was not happy. It's going to be a long ride back to the North Pole" ...



Farmed and dangerous

Originally uploaded by drewbo.
'Tis the season for endless baked hams, mounds of sugar cookies, and the ubiquitous smoked salmon.

'Tis also the season to brush up on your speaking points in the battle over farmed salmon.


"Tastefully positioned hockey gear"

The Jackson Hole women's hockey team unveils a babe-of-the-month calendar this week. The best line: "Through careful lighting and the use of shadow and tastefully positioned hockey gear and accessories, the calendar contains no "naughty bits."

Could this be a new way to raise money for the Conservation Alliance?



Arrive tired, leave inspired

Mark your ORWM calendars ... Deborah Williams of the Alaska Conservation Foundation will be the special guest at the annual Conservation Alliance Membership Meeting, on Sunday, January 30, from 8-9 a.m. The meeting will go down in the Marriott, Salon F.

Read the writing on the wall lately? There's little doubt that Alaska will likely be a major conservation battleground in 2005, and the ACF will be on the front line.

And if the guest speaker isn't good enough to lure you in, consider this. There'll be coffee, raspberry danishes, and a chance to grill Adam Forest about Barry Bonds' steroid-tainted home-run records before the meeting



Predictions for the New Year, 2035

Originally uploaded by drewbo.
... Three-time Senior X Game champion, Shawn Palmer, unveils a new trick: "the Miracle Ear."
... Johnny Moseley becomes official spokesperson for seasonal Viagara.
... West Virginia legalizes marijuana.
... Powder magazine names West Virginia's Snowshoe Mountain RESORT OF THE YEAR.
... Telluride secedes from Colorado and joins West Virginia.
... Bowing to pressure, Utah concedes ground in their libation policies and begins allowing the sale of 3.3 percent alcohol beer.
.... The Classic Rock bus moves from Sundays at 7 am to Saturdays at 4 pm.

Backcountry Lite

The New York Times rolls out yet another timely and remarkably fluff-free ski piece.

Could the backcountry marketplace ask for a sweeter dose of Viagra than Chris Solomon? He's on a tear.

Somebody ... please buy him a dozen donuts and send me the receipt.



Letter from the Bahamas

Originally uploaded by drewbo.
"What's the fish du jour?"

"It's the fish of the day."

"Mmmmm. I'll have that."


Reason No. 217 that John Kerry lost

This week, bloggers at ThePiton.com openly ridiculed the return appearance of Kelty backpacks and tents on CBS' "The Price is Right." Their argument? That reaching out to 7 million viewers per episode was only worthwhile if you were targeting "Red State housewives." Classy.

If you think the condescension seems familiar, that's because it is ... it's the same mindset that openly ridiculed Gov. Howard Dean for wanting to bridge the gap to conservative but poor white voters in those very same Red States, the same mindset that sneers at 75 million NASCAR fans, that laughs behind the backs of 30 million RV drivers, that mocks the spinning reels of 34 million bass fishermen, and that refuses to reach out to anyone outside the walls of a very small and dwindling club of outdoor wonks.

Sure ... some of us thrive on wild trout and backcountry powder, but to ridicule those who don't isn't just bad manners, it's bad politics. And the last time I checked, every vote was worth fighting for.


See it, catch it, release it

Smith Action Optics PASSAGE
Originally uploaded by drewbo.
Be still thy beating heart. The new Passage will be in stores very, very soon.

The scientists at Smith Action Optics have really raised the bar with this one. Pristine polarized glass. Professional guide performance. Super-comfy fit. Take it for a test drive and you'll see what I mean.

Cancelled NHL season spawns new outdoor activity

Today's must-read ... A low-speed chase in New Hampshire involving a riding lawnmower, an ex-girfriend, and molotov cocktails in Budweiser bottles.

LINK: Lawnmower-Riding Man Captured After Chase


Gimme shelter

Kelty Carport
Originally uploaded by dps.
You've got to love this. It's the new Kelty Carport, a tent-fabric wing that quadruples the protected living space of your car. In good times, it provides the paradise of shade. In bad times, it serves up a crucial windbreak from freezing rain and nasty wind. And for the rest of the time, it's the best damn tailgating tent ever created.

Top 10 reasons to take a dog into the backcountry

1. They honestly enjoy the stench of rancid long underwear.
2. Fantasizing about an untrained dog’s avalanche instincts is far more enjoyable than freaking out about depth hoar.
3. Somebody has to eat the Power Bars.
4. Need to crash a safety meeting? Bring a dog.
5. They’re the only ones left on the planet who could give a rat’s ass about soft shells.
6. Proximity to unbridled excitement makes you look cooler than you really are
7. You’re guaranteed to not go home alone from the après-offpiste bar.
8. If you’re spastic enough to face plant in the middle of an untracked bowl, you deserve a good wet punch kiss in the face.
9. Because cats make shitty ski partners.
10. Hell knows no fury like a backcountry dog left home alone.

-- Currently in the November Issue of Couloir Magazine.

Uh, what exactly do you do ....?

It's pretty simple. Pale Morning Media acts as a 'publicist' on behalf of our clients, their brands and their products. Our goal is to enrich the quality of client media coverage in current markets, and to vastly improve the quantity of client media coverage in new markets. Like I said ... pretty simple.

"Hey, since nobody's using that crampon ..."

A hearty "smoke another one" goes out to the art department at REI.

While I was very psyched to receive the Holiday 2004 catalog last week -- a veritable smorgasbord of fleece and merino wool offerings -- my attention was caught by the boot & crampon in wrapping paper on the cover. A huge push for ice climbing at the peak of winter buying season, you say? A significant shot in the bicep for the climbing market, perhaps? Mebbe, mebbe not. A quick perusal of the book reveals that no crampons are even offered in the catalog. In fact, there's no climbing gear of any kind in the catalog ... i guess it was just a prop.